Friday, April 02, 2010

A Cougar Tale

Last Saturday, I reviewed the book, The Cougar Club, by Susan McBride. Y’all may remember that I selfishly said I would keep the book because Susan autographed it. Well…no, I haven’t changed my mind. I’m still keeping it.

But Susan McBride is not selfish. She emailed me to offer a copy to one of you. So, here’s the deal. I’m running a contest over the weekend and the winner of a copy of The Cougar Club will be announced Monday. For each day you stop by and leave a comment, you’ll get one entry into the drawing.

On all three days, any comment will do. However for any of the three days, if you can tell a short Cougar Tale, you get a bonus entry. Your tale must include the word “cougar” and either “bride” or “McBride.” I’m not entering (I’m not THAT selfish), but here is a sample I wrote:
The cougar reclined in the crook of his ancient tree and used his teeth to dig small pearls and white beads from under his claws. He stared off into the distance, in the direction of the nearest village. Ordinarily, he didn’t like change, but the village had added its first restaurant. The cougar decided he liked that. People came and gaped at the golden arches, gathered ‘round the small tables and celebrated reunions, weddings, and harvests. They liked the good food. So did he. He pulled on a piece of lace stuck between his molars. The McBride had been delicious. Tomorrow would be the grand opening celebration with village leaders grinning and backslapping. The cougar licked his lips and looked forward to a McMayor.
The contest is now open. Leave your comment. If you’re the winner, I’ll email you and ask for your address, which I will send to Susan and she, in turn, will send you a copy of The Cougar Club. Good luck!
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  1. Fun! It is awesome of Susan to offer another book. :-)

  2. "Dude, wasn't that just the most awesome wedding ceremony ever?" Bobby asked his buddy, Link.

    "Epic, bro!" Link confirmed, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye.

    Both young men burst into laughter.

    Bobby put his arm around his friend's shoulder and turned him slowly through 180 degrees to take in the reception room. "See anything you like?"

    Link nodded. "You mean, apart from Paula, right?"

    Bobby squeezed Link's shoulder, hard. "She's pretty sweet, dude, but she's my big brother's wife now."

    "The mcbride and groom," Link confirmed, referring to Paula's Scottish ancestry.

    "For real! But there are rules, Link. If you wanted to bang her you should have done it just before the ceremony. Don't you know that's why they have all those little rooms everywhere in churches. It's like, a tradition or something."

    "I know, Bobby-Sue, I'm not a hick, bro," Link said, aggrieved. "Whoa, who's that?"

    "I saw her first!" Bobby exclaimed, scanning the room to see who Link was referring to, but it was soon obvious. She was tall and slim, dark tousled hair cascaded over her shoulders and her face was all big blue eyes and cherry lips. "I'm in love, dude..."

    Link squinted at her, now that he could see the woman properly. "I don't know, man. I think she's older than my mother. Who is she?"

    "That's Marrietta, boys." It was Paula's father, Ted. Fortunately he had only just arrived and hadn't heard their earlier conversation. "From my wife's side. You watch yourself now. That side of the family are... colorful. Circus folk, artists, performers, writers. Not respectable."

    "Not respectable?" Bobby perked up.

    Ted laughed. "I better watch what I'm saying. Aww, you're only young once, Robert." Bobby cringed. "You should go chat. I heard one of the missus' second cousins say she was a cougar."

    "Huh?" Link queried, eloquently.

    "An older lady who favors the company of younger men." Ted explained.

    "Oh, I'll accompany her, boss," Bobby said. "I'll accompany her all night long..."

    "Go for it, bro!" Link said, slapping his friend on the back.

    Bobby didn't so much approach Marietta, as he was drawn into her orbit. From the moment she smiled at him slyly as he approached, until she was pressing him down onto the motel bed, he couldn't remember a single thing he'd said. But whatever it was, it had worked.

    He closed his eyes and moaned as she drew her nails roughly across his chest. But as her fangs closed on his throat, he realised exactly what they meant by cougar.

  3. Good for you and Susan for coming up with this idea. Fun way for her to get the word out!

  4. Book is not my style, but I will stop by to see what others write.

  5. Anton, you are the flash fiction king.

  6. Anton, whoa, baby! Now that's the kind of Cougar tale people probably imagine unfolds on the pages of The Cougar Club! Boy, will they be disappointed if they read your story first. ;-)

    Helen, thanks so much for dreaming up this cool contest! Only how am I going to get anything done this weekend when I keep having to check back to see the entries??? ;-D

  7. The motel was a dump but he wasn't there for the ambiance. Its proximity to the airport made it perfect for what he needed.

    And what he needed was sitting on the bed waiting for him.

    "McBride," she had said earlier when they met in the airport lounge. "Caitlyn McBride." After several hours of drinks, suggestive conversation, and flirtatious glances he was hooked.

    The lashing rains and impermeable fog was the reason all flights in and out of Kennedy Airport were ultimately canceled.

    He and Caitlyn chose to spend the night together in this shabby Room 6B rather than the hard seats at the terminal.

    He turned off the light and walked over to her and ran a finger down her naked thigh.

    Caitlyn smiled and opened her arms to his embrace.

    Yes, he thought as he stretched his body across hers. She might be older but she's no cougar. Tonight, she's just a pussycat.

  8. Aah, Marisa, that made me smile. No one got eaten! Yay!

    Hi Susan. You may have a busy weekend. Some really great writers stop by here!

  9. Now I HAVE to buy this book! Thanks for sharing, Helen.

  10. Gotta love generous people! :)

  11. Ooh fun! Contests!
    And how nice of Ms McBride to donate to us starving artists. Starving in the sense that WE NEED MORE BOOKS!

  12. My creative juices are not yet flowing, but I enjoyed reading your cougar tale and the others left in the comments.

  13. These stories are great!

    She started as a wee lass,
    All pink and puff and lace.
    Come the teens she learned her sass,
    It did speed up the pace.

    First a bride and then an ex
    She knew her role in life
    No more laundry, just great sex
    A cougar--not a wife.

  14. That was great, Carol! A fun story and it rhymed. Yay.

  15. Marisa and Carol, those are purr-fectly fabulous!

    Helen, you're right! Great writers and so fast, too!

  16. A story? I'm still trying to get used to the new definition of cougar. New to me, anyway. I don't get out nearly enough.

  17. I live in south Orange County, CA. Cougar capital of the world. Its hilarious to watch them. Predators, they are. Preying on the young, rich, and stupid.

    Stephen Tremp

  18. Luckily, Stephen, you are not stupid.

  19. Cool. It really has to go to one of the story writers. Good luck everyone.


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