Saturday, February 12, 2011

Puns for Educated Minds

A friend of mine, Bill Wheeless, sent these puns. He didn’t write them. He got them from someone else who got them from someone else who ... well, who knows who originally wrote them. I don’t. I do, however, hope you enjoy them.

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Circumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

35 comments:

  1. These are great, thank you! I'm smiling in my coffee.

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  2. Thanks. These are great fun for a twisted mind like mine.

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  3. *Giggling* They are so funny, and clever. Thanks for sharing, Helen.

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  4. Thought they would be good for a Saturday!

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  5. Okay, I laughed out loud on the last one. Happy Saturday Helen!

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  6. These are great. Thanks for starting Saturday off with a laugh (or two).

    Mason
    Thoughts in Progress

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  7. HaHaHa. These are cute :)

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  8. Perfect for a classroom of students too. Thanks.

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  9. Bwahaha!! I must immediately share this with my husband. He LOVES puns. :)

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  10. Wish I were brilliant enough to come up with great puns!

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  11. Love the letter/stationary one!

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  12. I've heard a few of those before but many were new. Thanks for the laughs after lunch.

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  13. Haha, these are fabulous. I'd quite like a couple of them on t-shirts. :D

    Thanks for sharing!

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  14. Everyone should chuckle at least once on a Saturday.

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  15. That's some humor I can appreciate. I immediately passed it on to some non-blogger friends whom I know would really like it.

    Lee
    the Blogging From A to Z April Challenge 2011

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  16. Cool. Got a good laugh after a long day on the slopes >:)

    Cold As Heaven

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  17. What fun. I love the "math disruption." Maybe because math was my least favorite subject in school.

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  18. Okay, it's true, I belly-laughed at this one: "I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me."
    I'm still chuckling :)

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  19. Hahahaha. I especially like the last one, no pun in ten did!!! My hubby loves puns. We were watching Jeopardy one night and the answer was "This is the lowest form of wit." The question? "What is a pun?!"

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  20. A day on the slopes? You're making me cry, Cold As Heaven.

    That made me laugh, too, jbchicoine.

    I think I saw that one, Stephanie.

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  21. Here's one for you: If you have a Wii in your right hand, and a Wii in your left hand, what do you have? (I thought it was hilarious; my son just gave me a pained smile.)

    PS--we actually have two Wii's at our house as well as two males. I guess that translates to three WiiWii's. I'm not telling them I'm posting this.

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  22. Your son has come up with a quite modern pun, Bodie. Very cute!

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  23. Great puns. I love 'em. Thanks for the smiles.

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  24. I chuckled at a few. Newscasters made me give up on puns, but you've made me believe again!

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  25. To show how old I am, Will, your last line made me think of the Monkees singing I'm a Believer.

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  26. These are just great, lol. Had to copy and paste them in a Word.doc for future uses.

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  27. Thanks for the laughs. These puns are really clever and fun.

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  28. Always good to have a chuckle. Thanks for sharing.
    Ann

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  29. There are some very clever people out there. Unfortunately, I didn't come up with a single pun.

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  30. Thanks for the laughs. I enjoyed them. Always like midget jokes. Mind if I use it?

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  31. Glad I found time to catch up, these are brilliant. Love wordplay. Do you mind if I share?

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  32. Thanks, Helen. The puns made me laugh. :D

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