Wednesday, February 23, 2011


This is for all you Logophiles (lovers of words…you know—you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish or ... I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me ... etc.)

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.


  1. These are so clever! Love wordplay. The one with the fish and debate was cute. :)

  2. Oh these are brilliant! Hope you don't mind Helen, I just have to email these to my niece who has a keen wit and loves these word plays!

    Judy (South Africa)

  3. Oh this was fun! Thanks for sharing this :-D it made my day!

  4. This was a fun start to the morning. :)

  5. I love a good play on words! Thanks for the morning smile!

  6. I read these and realize how easily entertained I am...:)

  7. Ha! Thanks for the laughs. I'm easily entertained too. :)

  8. Thanks for the chuckles ... oh the marvels of the English language :)

  9. Love these! I blogged about words today, too, but not quite so cleverly.

  10. Go right ahead, Judy. These came from a friend who got them from a friend ... and so on.

    They are clever - but I am not. I didn't make them up. I did smile a lot as I read them, though!

  11. How fun! Seems like a lot of us are posting about humor today (including me). I guess good minds think alike.

  12. We need to either laugh or smile every day!

  13. Oh, I enjoyed the post, Helen. I do like clever word plays. More than a few of them make chuckle.

  14. Hey Hel,
    Have you ever wondered why feet smell and noses run?

    Thanks for the fun post.

  15. Thanks for tasking a stab at butchering the English language.

  16. Love these. Provided a nice distraction in my day. (Hugs)Indigo

  17. Bob, I believe it's because the nose smelled the running feet. Bob, did you know your profile comes up "not available" when I click your name?

    Stephen, I do that every day.

    You're welcome Indigo. It's so good to see you!

  18. I love logaphilia and would like to meet the author(s).

  19. Bwaha, these are so groan-inducing, and I love them. Keep 'em coming! :)

  20. I can always count on your to brighten my day with some humor Helen.

  21. Did you figure all of these out by yourself? They're great!

    Morgan Mandel

  22. Morgan, I wish I could claim authorship, but I cannot. They were sent to me by a friend.

  23. Just what I needed tonight Helen. Thanks bunches.


  24. Exactly what I needed after a sad day. Thanks so much

  25. So, so clever. And reminds me to pay my exorcist. Ha!

  26. What fun. Wordplay seemed to be a theme today on blogs. Peg Herring did some for The Blood Red Pencil and one for my blog It's Not All Gravy. I think we all enjoy the different ways we can fracture the language, or it fractures by itself. LOL

  27. Helen, how funny!

    I sent the link to my daughter. She's writing her first book. I gave her your name as someone to follow here on the internet.

  28. Thank you Glynis. You're a sweetie.

  29. How today is better for you, Sue.

  30. Hi Helen .. loved these and was going to do something with them last week - but terribly sadly that person died - one of those shock events - bowel cancer .. expected but not now!

    I still love them - just my thoughts went elsewhere understandably ..

    Fun - love the word too logophiles and logophilia .. my mother will love these - she calls me her Emanuensis - I had to look that up .. it has different spellings .. how she can come up with words like that when she hasn't read for years - I don't know .. she has her knack of keeping her brain going!

    Cheers .. Hilary

  31. Hi Hilary. So sorry about the death. I don't think I've even heard of someone dying from bowel cancer.

    You gotta love someone who loves words. My mother loved to read. She didn't have much time to read since she was raising four girls, but she did love books. Probably where I got it from.


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