Puns for Educated Minds

A friend of mine, Bill Wheeless, sent these puns. He didn’t write them. He got them from someone else who got them from someone else who ... well, who knows who originally wrote them. I don’t. I do, however, hope you enjoy them.

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Circumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.