Saturday, July 31, 2010

Facebook Dilemma

I joined Facebook. I even created a Facebook Networked Blogs widget. See it there, in the sidebar? Some of you showed me how to do it and quite a few of you have networked me back.

I’ve got another question for you experts.

What do I do with all the invitations I’ve gotten?

I’ve got:

1 event invitation

8 group invitations

17 page suggestions

2 farmville gift requests

2 farmville building requests

1 café world neighbor request

1 frontier neighbor request

5 networkedblogs invitations

1 vviissiioonnss invitation

1 lifescapes invitation

1 author stacy juba invitation

1 goodreads invitation

2 cause invitations

1 diabetes awareness r invitation

I’m thinking I should follow the 5 networkedblogs invitations and ignore the Farmville requests. I might want to follow the author stacy juba invitation and the lifescapes invitation since I know those two authors. The rest I’m clueless about.

How do y’all respond to all the invites and requests? And how do you keep from going crazy? Okay, a couple of you can skip answering that last question. You know who you are and why it’s too late.
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  1. Helen, I've learnt to be ruthless. My facebook is for writing work. While I try to be friendly and participative in important things - a friend's book launch, blogposts, photos etc - anything that is essentially non-work related and a time thief gets ignored (farmville and hugs are high up on that list). At first I felt rude and callous, and worried about hurting people's feelings by ignoring things, but I've come to consider it self-defence. And most people are kind enough to understand my choice, because they experience the same drain on their time and energy.

  2. Haha, yes, that's typically Facebook. I usually check out the event invitations and press the ignore button for everything else. Also, it's good to know that there is a hide button that you can apply to FB friends who post 100 times every day (from phone), about every trivial little thing happening in their lives >:)

    Cold As Heaven

  3. I can tell you what works for me...

    I ignore all applications. I've said this multiple times, so that people understand that I dislike them and will not use them. If the Pages don't interest me, ignore those as well.

    Friends, I typically add everyone back, unless they seem like spammers... sadly some seem to be migrating from twitter to Facebook.

    I have friends grouped into posting groups so that my Friends,Wrtiting Circles and Work Colleagues are all separated. If need be I can filter my posts so that only the groups I select see certain posts--you can even have a default setting of which groups get your posts unless you specify otherwise.

    I wouldn't worry too much about people getting their feelings hurt when they send out invites... they usually send mass invites anyway--so it should be expected that some people won't have an interest.

    Anyway, this is what works for me these days. I had gotten to a point where using Facebook became overwhelmings because of these things. This was how I managed to take back control of my FB account/experience.

  4. That's funny, becuase I recently added a friend from the writing community to my Facebook (which I keep for connecting with family and co-workers). Next thing you know I've got 38 friend request from other people that were suggested by this person.

    I try to keep the writing seperate from the family and work situation, so I'm thinking of opening a second Facebook account just to lump the writers into. Sort of a segregation. Or is it sequestering?)

  5. I use hide quite a bit and Ignore even more!
    Giggles and Gunsx

  6. Ignore, that's my motto.

    LOL, I am smiling at Alan's comment. I did this and my family all joined. Try telling your kids they are not wanted as part of that facebook life.

    I gave up with the writer's one because of another site I was working with. The 'writer's' there flooded it. I am going to set up a new one, but be more ruthless this time.

    Have fun if you have the time :)

  7. On some of the invitations that I've gotten from the same person a number of times, I've written a brief note to them just says 'thanks, but I don't play games (or whatever the invitation is for). Most of the time I don't get anymore request from them.

    Thoughts in Progress

  8. You're a popular gal!

    Ignore the Farmville requests. Don't get suck in!

    I follow other blogs but ignore much of the other stuff.

  9. Let me add, the more causes you join, the more things show up on your page. So be careful to invite clutter.

  10. Yep. The "Ignore" button is your friend.

  11. Cold As Heaven, I'll look for the hide button.

    Judy, I totally understand. If you don't set priorities, you can run out of time to get things done.

    Tonya, excellent advice. I shall try to set up groups today.

    Alan, I think I've seen that thing where FB asks if you want to recommend friends. I believe I've avoided it. One thing that scared me was it felt like FB was going to go into my address book and search. I totally did not like that idea.

    Thanks Mary. Note to self: Find the hide and ignore buttons.

    Glynis, you're going to have 3 FB accounts!?

  12. That's a good idea, Mason. I really don't want to get into the game thing on FB.

    Thanks for the heads-up, Theresa. I think I'll ignore the causes unless for some reason I feel compelled to join.

    Liza, I am gonna go look for that ignore button.

  13. I haven't been on Facebook long and I've got lots of these invitations too and I've ignored a lot of them. To be honest, I don't really get Facebook and wonder if I'm too old for it.

  14. Wow - I'm confused just reading it. I still haven't joined Facebook. Maybe one of these days, but I kinda feel like it might push me right over the edge into full blown crazy :)

  15. First things first ... you can block all of the Farmville crap. Make it disappear. Forever. That goes for Mafia Wars or whatever other stupid games people flood your home page with.

    I respond to some requests. Many are requests for book signings an such that are too far for me to travel to. So those go by the wayside. Then I'm left with following some Fan Pages, and that's about it. You can easily lose 90 percent of the junk right away.

    Oh, and your banner suggestion won. Thanks for your help. You'll be receiving a signed copy of Breakthrough when its released. Have a great weekend.

    Stephen Tremp

  16. I changed the settings to eleminate posting things in my feed. Some people I hid from my feed. I ignore a lot of stuff though.

  17. ...ignore any and all things that you're not sure about. I'm not on Facebook, but other members of the family are...and one thing seldom mentioned about it are the viruses seeking prey around every corner. Careful on linking or clicking on something that pops up on your page. My son is prone to this mistake, and has infected his computer twice in three months:(

  18. I'm not on Facebook, but if I were, I'd delete most of that mess!

  19. If you go to the page where you can respond to all your invitations, look below the "accept" and "ignore" buttons. Sometimes there's a link that says you can ignore the application. Click that one! No Farmville, no pirate kidnapping, no hugs, no flair, no none o' dat!

    I like getting invitations for book signings, whether I go or not, to see who's doing what where, but I usually decline the invitation.

    GoodReads is awesome! I resisted it, but now I love it. Go have a look at it and see if it's something you want to be involved with.

    YOU can control a lot of your FaceBook experience. I've gotten in touch with people I thought with sadness I would never hear from again, AND I've picked up new fans. You do have to learn what to ignore, though. :)

    Marian Allen

  20. I ignore all the Farmville, Cafe stuff etc. I scan the Event invites. Because I have a separate account for writing, I usually accept anyone as a friend unless they're super dodgy!

  21. First of all, I hesitate to answer lest I am one of those for whom it is too late.

    Second of all, the tips already given pretty much cover the suggestions I would make to manage Facebook requests. The beauty of using Facebook is the fact that we can take control of what we respond to and what we don't. I would also suggest not posting anything personal on your wall or in the comments. I didn't know much about how to manage the groups, so thanks for the tips on that, Tonya.

  22. Jemi, it would have pushed me to full blown crazy, too, except I was already there.

    Seriously, Stephen, my banner won? I'd love to get your book, but I would also buy a copy.

    Brooke, so that means no ones stuff shows up in your feed? Just your posts?

    Y'all are way beyond me. I intend to copy every suggestion here today and try to make sense of it all.

    Aikk, Elliot! I have already lost one hard drive this year!

  23. Alex, I think that's very good advice and that's what I intend to do.

    Thank you Marian. I'm going to look for the ignore application button. Actually, I'm on Goodreads. I just never quite understood it so I ignore every Goodreads email that comes in. Okay, do y'all see a pattern here?

    Maryann, I've been trying not to post anything personal. Not long after I signed up, I went back and deleted what I could in my personal information.

  24. LOL, no Helen. I am deleting the one that is annoying me. I will set up a fresh one for my writer buddies.

  25. I feel for you! Hide, ignore, delete. The hide button is hidden - clever, huh? If you hover on the right side of someone's post, it will show itself. You can choose to hide the app they're promoting or hide the person completely.

  26. Unless is something to do with writing or truly personal, I ignore. But I've found several good sites by checking those invites, "you might like" etc. so I always look.

  27. Thank you Laura. I had not gone on a hunt for hidden keys!

    Conda, that's good advice. I've noticed those invites, but hadn't investigated any.

  28. Glynis, I thought to myself, I can't even handle one and Glynis will have 3!

  29. I'm horrible with facebook.

    Thank you for the award!

  30. I've blocked off Farmville, so get none of those invites. As for the others, I just ignore them if I don't want them. FB allows you to do that easily enough.

  31. I'd look at Networked Blogs and Page Requests (authors frequently use pages instead of profiles on you "like" the page instead of friend the person.) Other than that, I totally ignore everything else--except my inbox.

    Good luck!

  32. I just ignore all the game stuff (unless I play that game) and delete or ignore the other things. What I have more problems with is getting spammy invites from Goodreads, one author in particular.

  33. I do not want to get caught in the games and prizes, so I really appreciate y'all teaching me how to stop those.

    Thanks Elizabeth for explaining "liking" pages as opposed to "friending" people.

    Writtenwyrdd, I signed up for Goodreads, but haven't done anything with it. I still get emails about Goodreads, though.

  34. It can be so time consuming but sometimes rewarding too. I've found people who follow my blog, enjoy my poetry, and some who buy my books through sending each other gifts and connecting on Farmville. I use it as a tool of connecting with more people and just be careful not to take up too much time with it.

  35. Ignore, ignore, ignore. Don't join a cause unless it's one close to your heart. Don't play any games unless you really want to. Don't join a group unless you know the people personally, or it's something you care very much about.

    Good luck!


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